Silence my voice with sensitivity?
you? Who are you?
Not me,
you don’t sound like me
you don’t look like me
and I will forever not
look or sound like you
no one wants me too
well, maybe you do
it’s just not going to happen.

How long did you wait
for me to apologize?
Didn’t happen, did it?
I refuse to bend.
I will not comply.
I will not let you
change my words in any way.
They are my truth
naked and untainted.

Oh, I fear you alright.
Too many ears, lazy ears,
lazy hearts hear your excluding noise.
Still, I do not intend to acquiesce
nor will I ever be
still or sorry or wrong.
Make your noise
who ever may listen
who ever may hear
is not me or mine or right.

Maybe the world
will find me delightful
or frightening and be enlightened
perhaps even entertained.
Certainly not burnished to dullness
nor endangered
or surrendered
no reader will be made blind.

©05/06/2019
Judith A. Sears

WARNING this aside comment contains words that some may find offensive, I suggest you not read beyond the words ‘STOP reading now!’ if you are easily offended. This piece was written after I read an article in Quillette Magazine by Craig DeLancey called “Policing the Creative Imagination” about the use of “sensitivity readers” to review written materials before they are published in an attempt not to offend anyone.

Last warning STOP reading now!

This world is so fucked up! Wait, I told you to stop reading, right? Oh shit, I probably offended someone. Well I find that I am swearing out loud more and I have to admit that it is satisfying to type out “those words” rather than just think them loudly in my mind. But on a serious note it is easy to say that I would not back down or comply with these dickhead censors (I mean sensitivity readers), but my livelihood is not dependent on earning money for my writing and probably never will be. I support all writers and their constitutional right to free speech and respect readers enough to believe that they can form their own opinions or not read what offends them. Especially when warned. – jas

ordinary words
shuffled
extra-ordinarily
left on an eager page
⚡️
‪does she hold stars ‬
above your head
let them fall behind you
a bright and brilliant cape
or is she the dark
infinitude of space
desperate to be filled
⚡️
‪like all the stars in the night sky‬
are nothing compared to what
seems empty space between
each tiny spot of light
each enormous sun
that measureless distance
vast limitless eternity
a fine and boundless
beyond
⚡️
go soft
close your eyes
how excruciating is it
not to think
there surrounding you
is true wonder
holding you in place
fierce as a dream
⚡️
brace for beauty
as your eyes open
find blurry words
on a fragile page
flutter with your hands
essential tremors
⚡️
it’s gravity
held you so tight
the one and only thing
that will never let you go
so quickly
wipe your eyes
read all the little
ordinary words
on every eager page
know then go soft

06/02/2019
Judith A Sears

This consists of my responses to other people’s posts. Just odds and ends of stuff that ended up as one rambling random thought.
jas
⚡️

You know this is war, child.
You must grow strong from your suffering.
You must fight. The anger inside will grow.
You must make yourself large and powerful.
You witnessed your father and brothers,
beaten and chained and taken away.
You watched your mother and sisters,
raped and beaten and raped again.
You felt a soldier’s hand twisted in your hair.
You felt him lift you up and toss you
into a bright and merciless fire.
You scream in helpless fear and burning pain,
as you wake from your 99th traumatic dream.
Tension from the broken land lost to stress
hopelessly snapped and gone to war
again, to war child, to war.

Judith A Sears
05/26/2019

I am sorry that this is not a fun read, I am sorry that it is raw and painful. but mostly I am sorry that situations like this are not rare in our world, our beautiful, beautiful world. I am not a refugee, but I had a dream last night that I was that child. Lost in the middle of a war, as so many, too many, children are lost right now in our world. Here are some ways you can help… support UNICEF, Save the Children, OXFAM, and other humanitarian organizations and never ever forget the worlds children when you pray. …and yes I do really have such dreams.

Drawing of a Coyote by Judith A. Sears

I heard them last night
whiny howls
as they emerged from the tree line.
The smell of dogs troubled them
prancing through yards
crossing drives and roads
marking with their stink
every place our pets had been.
I see them from my dark house
beneath my window I hear
their panting, their growls.
They run, then stop
with great interest
in the smells my dog left
when she happily marked
her small confined space.
Sometimes it sounds
like they are laughing,
perhaps they can imagine
her prissy pampered ways.
I watch them
dancing on their toes
they soon ran on.
In the distance
I heard their howls
a bark, a cry, then silence
for the rest of the night.
This morning my dog and I found
one small delicate coyote
pup curled up
like its last moment
had been spent in pain.
Reluctant to leave,
I had to carry
my dog home,
in the rain, weeping.

©05/04/2019<
Judith A. Sears

Yes, I see coyotes occasionally running through my back yard and yes there is occasionally a dead one on the side of the road. I think they are a family, male, his female and last years pups. They will soon have more. Yes, I know they can be pests. I can be a pest too sometimes. jas

Picture This

eerie sun drenched world
after a long rain, too bright
too precise, shiny details
still so wet, some grand lighting effect
sky so azure, clouds so thin
shadows stark and bright
between the green of grass
and the yellowish tree leaf buds
spring-sore eyes close
pinhole apertures shuttered
wide blue irises
wide blue sky
weeping made the world too shiny
today, there are too many
good reasons to cry.
Capturing this elusive season
with my lens the moment lost
snap and lost again.

©May 2, 2019
Judith A. Sears